Greg & Brian's Demented Christmas

by Greg & Brian

Released 12/21/2017
Released 12/21/2017
Central Florida's favorite duo whips up a heapin' helpin' of home-cooked hysteria for the holidays! Subject matter includes: creepy street people, bisexual reindeer, swingers, crass commercialism, thinly veiled innuendo, medicinal products, and balls.
  • 00:46 Lyrics
    Orange Blossom Christmas (The O.B.T. Orlando Song)

    Have an Orange Blossom Christmas. If you feel a little queer, there's a rave that's called The Cave where leather guys drink beer.

    Have an Orange Blossom Christmas, and when you walk down that street, say hello to Crackhead Joe and pimps and gimps you meet.

    Ho's ho's on O.B.T. cost too much for me. Somebody shoots at you... in your pants you pee.

    Have an Orange Blossom Christmas. Stay away from those girls' rears, 'cause they smell like possum.

    Have an Orange Blossom Christmas this year!!

  • 01:37 Lyrics

    Rudolf, the red-assed reindeer had a hairy, hiney rose. Prancer ignored his love pit. Cupid even saved his loads.

    All of the uptight reindeer used to laugh at how he flamed. They never bent poor Rudolf, boinking all their reindeer dames.

    Then one lonely Christmas Eve, Santa came to play (hey!). "Rudolf, with your hole so red, won't you drive my f***in' sled?"

    Then all the reindeer tagged him, plowed him in and out with glee.

    Rudolf, the red-assed reindeer, you'll go down in history.

    Then all the reindeer tagged him, plowed him in and out with glee.

    Rudolf, the red-assed reindeer, you'll go down in history.  You go down, it's history.

  • 01:45 Lyrics
    Oh Cum on Ye, Grateful

    Oh cum on ye, grateful, joyful and climactic. Oh cum on here, oh cum there, on Beth, Les, and Clem.

    We have been swinging for 13 or 14 years (oh cum), lettuce needs dressing; two lips impressing.

    Get us some napkins, it's time for school.

    There's cum on the bar stool, running down the legs now. There's cum in your hair, dear, and it's not mine.

    Cum on the stairwell. Careful, or you'll break your ass. (There's cum). Someone's cumming. 

    (There's cum) and there's humming. Enough to use in our Slip 'n' Slide. (Wooh!)

    I came in the fishbowl, you came on my snow cone. We came here, we came there, a thousand times.

    Each new adventure: I came on Granny's dentures. (Such fun) in the sun with cum. (Such fun) chewing gum with cum.

    Explodes in your mouth, hun, but shhhhhh..... we're in church!

  • 04:07 Lyrics
    The Worst Christmas Carol

    This is the worst Christmas carol you'll ever hear this year. It really doesn't rhyme so well, but mentions kegs of beer.

    It mostly was inspired by way too much good cheer. We'll probably all be comatose when Santa Claus gets here.

    Everybody at the office is watching every dime, and cursing out the Congress, who keeps what's yours and mine.

    In fact, that's why this carol was written just in time, to cash in on the holidays, and buy me better wine.

    I'm all for peace and happiness as long as we all win. I'd like to take the terrorists and drown them in cheap gin. 

    And anyone who tells me that everything's a sin can kiss me under mistletoe where the sun has never been.

    Now, Santa is an elf, you know, and Rudolf's nose sure glows. Frosty keeps our drinks cold while we remove our clothes.

    We'll make some Christmas magic once we've finished with the bows. I hope that I can keep this clean and not discuss who blows.

    So when it's Christmas morning, and no one has awoke, because of all the rum balls in which we've all been soaked.

    Our New Year's resolution: to try and not go broke, so we can celebrate next year and buy a little toke!!

    This is the worst Christmas carol..... (yeah!!!!!!!)

  • 03:35 Lyrics
    Yule Log

    The best gift that you had all year, wrapped all tight like your righteous rear.

    You'll get to see it when the guests aren't here, 'cause that's when Santa's near.

    You cracked all those nuts with your wooden dolls, and hung all that sugar from your velvet walls.

    I'll be beating like a drummer as I deck your halls; coming down your chimney like Niagara Falls.

    (CHORUS): Gonna put my yule log right in your fireplace, and spread my tool nog all over our space.

    You can take my jewel grog in your warm embrace. I'll enjoy your drool bog slowly, at a fine pace!

    Now, some say this holiday's not for real, but they know how to cook, yet they can't congeal. 

    What they really need is a nice, hot meal. A long winter's night to really seal the deal. (CHORUS)

    Then, in the morning, look at all the snow! Don't wake the children, 'cause I start to grow a new fir tree for you, ho ho ho!

    Your pet yule log's ready, go go go!  Grow...grow....grow....grow!!! (CHORUS)

    (I LOVE your Yule Log!!!!)

  • 04:21
    Green Leafy Tree
  • 03:45
    Drinkin' with Santa
  • 03:10
    Do You Smell What I Smell?
  • 04:23
    Blue Balls for My Tree
  • 03:49
    The Magic Christmas Beaver
Orange Blossom Trail in Orlando will never be the same. With this album, it has been visited upon by bisexual (and inter-species-curious) reindeer, swingers with a fetish for fluids, crass commercialism for fun and profit, pounding rhythms of chimney sweeping festive trunks, clouds of glowing inspiration, ladder-climbing elves with a penchant for debauchery, litterboxes, fruitcakes, STDs, provocatively outrageous claims, self-abuse, and warm furry lovin' critters.

Greg & Brian and their management apologize in advance for any harm possibly to result.