From the recording Greg & Brian's Demented Christmas
Lyrics
<p>The best gift that you had all year, wrapped all tight like your righteous rear.</p>
<p>You'll get to see it when the guests aren't here, 'cause that's when Santa's near.</p>
<p>You cracked all those nuts with your wooden dolls, and hung all that sugar from your velvet walls.</p>
<p>I'll be beating like a drummer as I deck your halls; coming down your chimney like Niagara Falls.</p>
<p>(CHORUS): Gonna put my yule log right in your fireplace, and spread my tool nog all over our space.</p>
<p>You can take my jewel grog in your warm embrace. I'll enjoy your drool bog slowly, at a fine pace!</p>
<p>Now, some say this holiday's not for real, but they know how to cook, yet they can't congeal. </p>
<p>What they really need is a nice, hot meal. A long winter's night to really seal the deal. (CHORUS)</p>
<p>Then, in the morning, look at all the snow! Don't wake the children, 'cause I start to grow a new fir tree for you, ho ho ho!</p>
<p>Your pet yule log's ready, go go go! Grow...grow....grow....grow!!! (CHORUS)</p>
<p>(I LOVE your Yule Log!!!!)</p>